My editor is good at telling me what is just ahead. I've noticed that she does this carefully, in very pleasing prose, and in small increments. I have so much to learn and I don't have an agent. She is used to working with people like Max Lucado and other writing wonders (and their agents). I wonder what she thinks of me - a hick from the hills of Kentucky who is hiding out in the woods of Washington!
That's when I remember that this writing dream is bigger than I am - and Who brought it all about. I am not an ambitious person and have no big dreams about writing. Maybe this is why I am starting later in life. I can really relate to Harper Lee whose first and last novel was To Kill A Mockingbird. I love the actual writing of the book itself - just you and your pen and paper, some research books, a dictionary and thesaurus. The publishing process is huge, the competition fierce, and reviewers cruel. All of that scares me. Yet that is what is coming up.
I have always been, as my granny said, "high-strung." I think that in the months ahead I will be re-tuned or fine-tuned. Maybe the Lord is working on achieving perfect pitch in my life, to use a musical term. There is nothing pretty about a violin played too high or too low. The writing road is interesting because I am going to have to change. Develop a thick skin. Refrain from crawling into the closet when I make a mistake. Be gracious to folks who hate my work. And all of that will come, I know, even on a small scale.
If I didn't love to write so much, I wouldn't put myself through it. I like comfort and safety and sameness. Yet it seems these are the very first things you kiss goodbye when you are put into service. I'm sure my brother the missionary would say the same. If I didn't think He was in charge of every little detail I would not be writing this post on this blog - which still makes me squirm by its very public nature. I am that private!
Meditating on these verses keeps me going:
The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you. He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Deut. 31:8
... fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. Hebrews 12:2
Step by step he will see you through it all. I am sure it is unnerving and just scary at times but also very exciting too. I have faith that you will come through everything just as God has planned and be a better person for it. Looking forward to the first book and I don't have that writing or reading passion you have.......that is a great gift he gave you! :)
ReplyDeleteKeep squirming.
ReplyDeleteGod loves us just as we are, but He loves us so much that he's not willing leave us that way.
And no one likes change--especially when it's exacted upon one's self--yet God is all about our change.
Laura, I would be surprise if 99% of new writers, and even many seasoned ones, didn't struggle with these scary realities of the publishing life. I'm not even as far along the road as you were when you wrote this post, before TFD was released, but they scare me as well. May all these scary aspects of our writing receiving recognition send us always straight to the Lord for perspective, comfort, grace and strength.
ReplyDeleteGive her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:31)
Yes, you are so right. I've run to Him far more on this side of the publishing desk, so to speak, than I ever did uncontracted. When you realize all that goes on within the publishing world, any trust issues you have go to a whole new level. This is where I sense we have to develop God-confidence rather than self-confidence. The latter is deadly to a writer, I think.
ReplyDelete