My editor is good at telling me what is just ahead. I've noticed that she does this carefully, in very pleasing prose, and in small increments. I have so much to learn and I don't have an agent. She is used to working with people like Max Lucado and other writing wonders (and their agents). I wonder what she thinks of me - a hick from the hills of Kentucky who is hiding out in the woods of Washington!
That's when I remember that this writing dream is bigger than I am - and Who brought it all about. I am not an ambitious person and have no big dreams about writing. Maybe this is why I am starting later in life. I can really relate to Harper Lee whose first and last novel was To Kill A Mockingbird. I love the actual writing of the book itself - just you and your pen and paper, some research books, a dictionary and thesaurus. The publishing process is huge, the competition fierce, and reviewers cruel. All of that scares me. Yet that is what is coming up.
I have always been, as my granny said, "high-strung." I think that in the months ahead I will be re-tuned or fine-tuned. Maybe the Lord is working on achieving perfect pitch in my life, to use a musical term. There is nothing pretty about a violin played too high or too low. The writing road is interesting because I am going to have to change. Develop a thick skin. Refrain from crawling into the closet when I make a mistake. Be gracious to folks who hate my work. And all of that will come, I know, even on a small scale.
If I didn't love to write so much, I wouldn't put myself through it. I like comfort and safety and sameness. Yet it seems these are the very first things you kiss goodbye when you are put into service. I'm sure my brother the missionary would say the same. If I didn't think He was in charge of every little detail I would not be writing this post on this blog - which still makes me squirm by its very public nature. I am that private!
Meditating on these verses keeps me going:
The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you. He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
... fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. Hebrews 12:2